If you feel that every day repeats itself and you rarely smile, …. fear not. That almost happened to me. I had forgotten how to laugh, … especially at myself. Laughter is one of the best things you can do for yourself, with your significant other, and most especially, with your children. There is almost nothing so wonderful as seeing someone heartily laugh. It’s almost de rigueur in today’s world to check our phones as soon as we wake up or right before we head to bed, but do we check to make sure we have had a hearty belly laugh at some point in the past twelve hours? … No? That is where this page comes in. Each month, I am going to try to get some hopefully halfway decent jokes put up to get those belly muscles moving. Because once you start laughing, you see the world in a better light and whatever problems you had previously, now seem just a bit smaller and the world seems a little warmer.
Jokes of the month:
This month is dedicated to Chuck Norrisisms:
Chuck Norris has been exposed to COVID 19, …. the virus is now in quarantine recovering (slowly).
Chuck Norris has been to Mars, …. which is the reason there is no life there.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris is so tough, … he uses stunt doubles for crying scenes.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoe laces, …. with his feet.
Twitter users immediately delete their accounts when they see the dreaded message, “Chuck Norris is now following you.”
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, …. you answered the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris once hit eleven out of ten targets, …. with nine bullets.
When Chuck Norris left home for his first day of kindergarten, he told his father, “Well, you are the man of the house, … for now.”
A rattlesnake once bit Chuck Norris on a movie set in Arizona, …. it died two days later.
Chuck Norris is the only guy to ever walk into a women’s rights convention and walk out with his shirt ironed after experiencing a refreshing back massage while carrying a freshly made sandwich in his hand.
When Chuck plays rock, paper, scissors, …. he cuts the rock with his scissors.
Chuck Norris once threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people, …. and then it exploded.
When Chuck was in school, …. teachers had to raise their hands to ask him a question.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, … Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver, … and won.
The Darwinian theory of evolution is incorrect, …. Evolution is just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allowed to keep living.
911 Operators routinely call Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not need GPS, …. He decides where he is.